At the opening of 2019, I was flooded with thoughts about my life, my friendship with God, motherhood, marriage, ministry, and my relationships with others – in that order amazingly. I came to realize how my life was impacted by all of these roles. My ministry assignment in San Francisco, which has taken me away from extended family and close friends, has been one of the most difficult and yet rewarding endeavors of my life. It has opened and stretched me to a new determination. I do understand now why God allowed and opened this door of opportunity for His glory and insight.
I am going to new levels. There have been some painful moments on this journey; aloneness, but not lonely, rejection in unexpected ways, and misunderstood intentions. However, some things have been made clear to me. I have gained insight into obscure matters that blindsided me. I can see clearly now. What I love about friendship with God is that it never changes and God will never allow me to walk in the dark. God is consistent in His love and care for me as a human being created in His image. There are no contradictions in His character. His love endures forever.
I have all of this stuff inside me to fulfill and I know I have to work with a new determination to complete it. I have never been jealous or envious of the dreams and goals of others. I have been a cheerleader for other people’s dreams and have sacrificed much of my time and energy to see their dreams happen. I will continue to help others and encourage them to go after God’s best for their lives; but I woke up recently with a new determination to fulfill my dreams.
I don’t ever want to stop dreaming. I don’t believe it is God’s will that I pour all of my life into someone else’s dream while my dream dies on the vine. God said in His Word, “be fruitful and multiply.” (Genesis 1:28) That means I should be increasing in whatever God has planted in me to advance His Kingdom.
Reader, on this journey of life, you are going to meet people in the world who are takers. They have unrealistic expectations of your pouring all of yourself into their dreams and goals, but they can never celebrate yours. You have to know when it is time to wake up or you could die asleep. Don’t die with your dreams unfulfilled. You might have to take a season away from environments and people who are killing you. Get up with a new determination to start working on something. Even if it seems small, just do it! Help others, yes, but don’t get so absorbed that you can’t see clearly what God wants to do in and through your life. Decide today that, with a new determination, you will fulfill your dreams for God’s glory and honor!